Keeping It Real

How much do you hate C.G.I.? How much do you hate that the film industry has replaced writing, acting and storyline with special effects? A lot, I hope. I love escapism and fantasy but I also like to have a sense of mood and emotion. Somehow special effects rob filmmakers of the knowledge that people have imagination, creativity and sensory perception. I think of 70s horror films with their intense use of music, lighting and sometimes real graphic disturbances as particularly intense. Would special effects or some flat animated creatures make them any better? Of course not.

In the spirit of keeping it real I wish to present to you the genius of sound effects; a human sound board, the Right Honourable Mr Michael Winslow. He's the guy who created the sound effects for Police Academy. Here he performs an incredible version of the seemingly inimitable Led Zeppelin beauty, Whole Lotta Love. The clip is from a Norweigian show that looks like a Norweigian style Conan O'Brien, called Senkveld. Norweigian and Conan O'Brien don't naturally go together. If you know anything about Senkveld or Norweigian comedy, or even how or why they ended up with Micheal Winslow as a guest, let me know. Did he marry a Norweigian model perhaps?

    

Linguistic ¨Laughs ¨

I know what you might be thinking, rather pretentious title, right? Possibly, but in this case, there’s little pretending. A couple of language related stories have genuinely made me laugh hard this week. Solitary activities rarely produce intense laughter. Twice this week, I have been overwhelmed by belly laughs, with no one around to hear them. If you can, share these with someone else, and see if you both laugh too. I’d bet on it.

One feature on Wednesday’s Radio 2 Drivetime, was about the umlaut (¨). I know, it doesn’t sound totally, immediately hilarious. Patience, young linguistic grasshoppers. On the show, Simon Mayo and the Drivetime team interview Professor Rüdiger Görner, Director of the Centre for Anglo-German Cultural Relations at Queen Mary’s University in London.



Here is Simon Mayo looking like a comedic radio presenter should- a little bit cynical.

Image from the Radio 2 Drivetime website.



After discussing issues of origin, purpose and pronunciation, the subject turns to more important matters. Specifically, how metal bands like Mötorhead, Mötley Crue, Blue Öyster Cult and Spinal Tap use umlauts and how we should actually pronounce their names. Listen and learn:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/simon-mayo/ 

Play with the iplayer between 20:24-25:19, though all Mayo's work is worth a listen.

The other piece that I thought was fantastic was The Sunday Times’ official ‘Dud of the Week.’ According to Dan Cairns, this was the Superheavy album. This is the unfortunate new project from Dave Stewart of The Pet Shop Boys, Joss Stone, Ziggy Marley (so far, so bad) and (ahem) Mick Jagger.



Superheavy, looking cool at their Superheaviest. Maybe the blurriness of the photo will only increase their mystique.

Image from livelyindepthmuscient.com .


Supergroup? Not quite. Marley begins the album by emphasising how intensely super and heavy the group is. Say the following in your best Jamaican, dance hall guy voice:

'“Massive, large amount, you understand? Excess heaviness, heaviest, heaviest title holder.”' Cairns notes how: 'Then the doubts begin to surface. “Heavyweight contenders,” [Marley] continues, “you understand?”'

Cairns explains how it is a ‘flaccid hybrid of reggae, country and soul.…Superheavy? Superdiabolical.’ One can imagine.

What's your feeling on Jagger's Timonthy Everest shocking pink suit? I know he's Jagger and can therefore pull off whatever he wants and be eternally cool. The question is whether he should. Jagger's Suit: do you love it or hate it?

(Note the Superheavyness of the band in the background.)

Would You Like A New Cousin? Cousin Jamie perhaps?

I have a few adopted uncles. They include: James May, Steve Martin, Noel Gallagher and Stephen Fry. They impart their wit, wisdom, cynicism and life experience onto me. They gently guide me through life's travails, with stories and an awareness of history. I also have a few imaginary casual boyfriends including Jude Law, Russell Brand and Jason Segel who also amuse me. But I haven't had a new cousin for a long time. Until this morning, I didn't see a need. This morning I began to question previously unasked questions.

Would my life be improved by a new cousin or just more complicated? How might my siblings or other cousins react to this great change? Would they even have to know? Would my parents want a new nephew?

Selfishly, I decided that I might let Jamie himself decide whether he wanted to consider becoming my new cousin. Below is the letter I have drafted. What do you think? Am I patronising the young man by calling him an "almost adult cousin?"

Dear Jamie,

I hope you are enjoying your summer and feeling refreshed for a new year at school.

I am writing to inform you that I would like to adopt you as my new cousin. I understand you are a cousin to many and indeed advertise yourself as a cousin. I have thought about the role of the cousin that is nearly an adult. What does it mean to be an almost adult cousin in contemporary life? 

They are sometimes expected at family occasions, but are generally expected to look bored or be otherwise occupied by youthful things. So, you wouldn't have to do much. This is more or less the role you currently have in my life. So things wouldn't change. 

I have other cousins who might provide you with a reference as to my character. But, I'm not the model cousin either. 

If you have questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me at:

www. thefabulousmission.blogspot. com

Yours Faithfully,

Lauren.

Or should I say COUSIN Lauren.?

Loyal Readers, I think you too might want to write Jamie a letter. But you're too late. I was first. But to understand what you might otherwise miss, listen to his songs. First, is his "Ambition."

"Testosterone" gives some insight into the young man's mind:

Finally, "Middle Class Rapstar" explores the powerful idea of the struggle for a young middle class boy to truly make it as rapstar. Life does pose obstacles.