I have a few adopted uncles. They include: James May, Steve Martin, Noel Gallagher and Stephen Fry. They impart their wit, wisdom, cynicism and life experience onto me. They gently guide me through life's travails, with stories and an awareness of history. I also have a few
imaginary casual boyfriends including Jude Law, Russell Brand and Jason Segel who also amuse me. But I haven't had a new cousin for a long time. Until this morning, I didn't see a need. This morning I began to question previously unasked questions.
Would my life be improved by a new cousin or just more complicated? How might my siblings or other cousins react to this great change? Would they even have to know? Would my parents want a new nephew?
Selfishly, I decided that I might let Jamie himself decide whether he wanted to consider becoming my new cousin. Below is the letter I have drafted. What do you think? Am I patronising the young man by calling him an "almost adult cousin?"
I hope you are enjoying your summer and feeling refreshed for a new year at school.
I am writing to inform you that I would like to adopt you as my new cousin. I understand you are a cousin to many and indeed advertise yourself as a cousin. I have thought about the role of the cousin that is nearly an adult. What does it mean to be an almost adult cousin in contemporary life?
They are sometimes expected at family occasions, but are generally expected to look bored or be otherwise occupied by youthful things. So, you wouldn't have to do much. This is more or less the role you currently have in my life. So things wouldn't change.
I have other cousins who might provide you with a reference as to my character. But, I'm not the model cousin either.
If you have questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me at:
Or should I say COUSIN Lauren.?
Loyal Readers, I think you too might want to write Jamie a letter. But you're too late. I was first. But to understand what you might otherwise miss, listen to his songs. First, is his "Ambition."
"Testosterone" gives some insight into the young man's mind:
Finally, "Middle Class Rapstar" explores the powerful idea of the struggle for a young middle class boy to truly make it as rapstar. Life does pose obstacles.